The other night an epic trolling of epic proportions occured. I was bored and anxious to get out of the house, so, after nagging my boyfriend for most of the day, around four in the afternood, the three of us (myself, Mike and The Troll) went to Walmart.
Well, we decided to get Subway first. I was nice and did not get my usual meatball-ranch-mayonnaise mess that I always get (mainly to spite him, even though I find it delicious!), but a normal sandwich with lemonade. It was good, and we talked for a bit. The Troll made a funny joke and of course, I shotgunned my lemonade all over the table. He did apologize for that, as he did not mean to do that to me...that time. Anyway, I'm getting off track.
After eating, we went to browse through Electronics. I looked at video games, and seeing nothing new, I followed my boyfriend to look at the televisions. We talked briefly about one TV that looked good, until I saw The Troll make a beeline toward...the plunger aisle. Oh I knew right then what he was about to do, because he gave me an evil grin.
Backstory here: My boyfriend and his friends used to stick the plungers to the floor in a row, and drag me across the store. It drove me crazy to have the plungers left out, so I would always run back and put them away. It turned into a game at my expense. I laugh because it's funny, it's just really annoying at the same time.
Now, backstory's out of the way, so now on with the main plot. So anyway, after that evil look, I chased nick, only to see him set a plunger down on the ground. I immediately picked it up and put it away. Then Mike disappeared, so I just looked at Nick, and went to track Mike down. I couldn't find him, but I thought I saw a shadow disappear behind an aisle, so I chased that down. It was then that I realized I'd left The Troll unsupervised. I went back to the plunger aisle to find it empty of any human, but there was a single plunger in the middle of the aisle. I sighed and put that one away. Then I went to find Nick, to see what he was up to.
I couldn't find either of them, and after looking around, I came back to the plunger aisle to see yet another plunger sitting there. I began to realize that they were toying with me, so I waited by the aisle to see if they would come back.
They did, after maybe ten minutes. Both of them were grinning, and give me weird looks, so I asked where they were. They gave me crappy excuses that sounded completely phony, but I let it go. I thought the game was over, and they were ready to leave, but I didn't realize, that they hadn't even gotten started. Things got worse, much much worse.
Mike held my arms pinned to my sides while Nick grabbed a plunger. Instead of putting it down, he ran off with it. I was helpless to do anything but watch, due to Mike's strength. Once The Troll disappeared, I tried to track him down, but I couldn't find him. I ran back to find Mike still standing there, laughing. I demanded to know where The Troll had run off to, but he kept saying he didn't know. So off I went again to track him down. It was a mistake. I had left Mike alone.
I ran back to the plunger aisle to find Mike missing, but The Troll was there, picking up another plunger. "No, no!" I said, as if I were talking to a child. "Put that down!" I pointed an accusing finger at him, only to have him giggle and run off. I started chasing him, but like the ninja he always is, he disappeared yet again. I stomped back to the aisle and guarded the damn plungers as if my life depended on it.
After a few moments, they both came back, empty handed. "Where are the plungers?" I asked. "I'm going to have to find them, aren't I?"
"Yes." The Troll responded, still grinning evilly. With a sigh and an eye roll, I asked him where. "Well, they're on this half of the store, at least." So off I went, hunting down plungers.
True to his word, they were all on one half of Wal-Mart. But they were hidden. That was the problem. It wasn't as if he and Mike had left these plungers in the middle of aisles. No, they were clever, and hid the plungers, and I actually had to look hard to find them.
After maybe a half hour, probably an hour at most, I found the last of them. There were probably seven plungers total, hidden around the store, and by this point I was exhausted, sweating, and ready to go home. I had put all the plungers back, and I was basking in the glow of my own success (seriously, it was like an Easter egg hunt, with plungers.) when I found the Troll and his Toad sitting on office chairs. Turns out, I wasn't done, as there were two more to be found. I groaned and almost dropped to my knees.
"Where are they?" I whined, wanting to be done. "Just give me a hint." The Troll pointed to his left.
"Straight that way, hidden behind a support column." That was one, but I also had to find the other. Luckily for me, it was down the aisle we were in. I picked that one up and hunted the last damn plunger down. NOW I was done.
With both plungers found and put away, I tracked the men down. I was beyond ready to go home at this point, and they were getting ready to check out and go home. (Nick was buying a new chair.) Mike, feeling bad for all the work they made me do, bought me choco-tacos.
I didn't have nightmares about plungers, like I was afraid of. but now I am scared of plungers, and if you ever see me cry at the sight of a plunger, well now you know why. Because pure evil now comes in the form of plungers.
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