Things in high places.

So tonight, again, The Troll snatched my phone and again, put it up in a high place that prevented me from reaching it. After trying a few times, and laughing/whining that I couldn't reach it, I had an idea. I walked over to where I was keeping my back scratcher, and used that to get my phone down. Unfortunately I have almost zero coordination, so my phone dropped to the ground, not even touching my outstretched hand.

Regardless, I was pleased. I had succeeded, and I said so with a small dance and repeating "I win!" over and over again. He left me alone for awhile, while he and my boyfriend went into his room to watch Stargate. After awhile, he came out with one of his grins, yes, THAT kind of grin, and stared at me. I let my guard down though, so I wasn't expecting what came next: he took my phone again. I jumped up to chase him, but he'd placed my phone on top of one of the kitchen cabinets. I just stood there, and called to my boyfriend for help. Of course, The Troll, being who he is, immediately said, "don't help her."

"Mike, can I borrow your chair for a second?" I asked, trying not to laugh.

"Nope," Mike said in response. There was random conversation here about how Mike needed the chair to paint his Warhammer figures, which was just them being weird and not helping me. I walked back to get my back scratcher and try to use that for aid, but it didn't work well. Instead I pushed the phone further away from me. I started looking around for a box or something I could use to lift me higher, when Mike got off his chair. I snatched it right away and was able to get my phone down.  I walked back to my computer and sat down, thinking that was it.

I should learn by now that he's never done until he's fast asleep in bed.

He tried to take my phone again. I used my back scratcher to whack him in the arm a few times, so he just grabbed that instead, and ran back to the kitchen. Like a moron, of course I chased him. He took the opportunity to grab my phone  from my hand, and place both the phone and the backscratcher on top of the cabinets above the fridge.

Cue me spending ten minutes using the broom to fish them both down. I managed to do it without using a chair this time, so I was proud of myself. When I had them both safely in hand, I found him sitting at my computer, pulling up "Dance of the Manwhore"

"No, shoo!" I walked over and started slapping him with the backscratcher again until he got back up.

"Fine," he said, sounding like a defeated child. He walked away again, tried to take my phone yet again, but it didn't work, so he just locked my computer and walked off.

He went to bed after the last attempt, so I'm safe for the night. Although I fear what he's dreaming up now, and what more he can come up with.

I have also come to the conclusion that I am his personal lab rat, and everything he does to me is an experiment, and he is training me, or studying me. One of the troll. With him being a troll, nothing he does is predictable.

Wherein The Troll Learns About Buttons

Recently, I learned how into the trolling my boyfriend is. By that, I mean he actually encourages The Troll do perform his antics. In fact, just the other night, my boyfriend taught The Troll which buttons on my laptop do what. The Troll learned to lock my computer, to turn on/off the wifi button at will, and various other buttons.

This has been used against me multiple times in the past by my boyfriend, but to have him turn on me and teach The Troll is a whole other matter. I was in over my head now.

For the past few nights I have been dealing with button pushing at random. Mostly when I least expect it. This is paired with various other trolling efforts, such as yelling "Battle Shits" over and over again until I'm curled up in a ball on the floor. (Not to mention putting my portable electronics in high places so that I can't reach them,  even if I'm jumping)

Anyway, I have tried my best to guard my computer against The Troll, but he has quickly realized, as I'm starting to, that if he takes a portable device away with him, I will wind up leaving my computer unguarded, which leaves him completely open to double back, press buttons and run away. That leaves me half laughing and half whining, and calling him less than happy names.

I was annoyed at first about my boyfriend teaching The Troll about buttons, but that quickly evaporated when The Troll laughed in glee everytime he even so much as thought about pushing something on my laptop. Anger toward my boyfriend faded, and suspicious and mistrust rose up higher with The Troll.

He likes to catch me off guard with his "Battle Shits" mantra, but instead of just telling him no, I just yell the word back at him. Maybe I'm learning how to actually deal with him, or maybe I'm sinking further down into insanity. I don't know what to think, all I know is that everytime I see him, I instinctively call him a douche bag, and that's where I get into trouble.